As most of my friends know, I don't like my department so much. I am getting used to it; however, being able to change three things would be really great for me. I would start with some of the lessons, then change the alternatives that we have (!) and for the last, I would make some changes about buildings.
In this department, there are some courses that I think we are taking vainly. If we think that we are going to be teachers, these courses are very detailed and will not help us in our daily or business lives. I want to give literature courses for an example. I don't know even my own literature history so detailed. Why don't we just take them superficially? Some of us may think that these courses expand our knowledge about English culture, but, if I want to know a lot of things about the country, I can do that on my own. Maybe, I am just against to be obliged to take them.
The second thing is our chances- in fact we don't have any chances. In other departments, if you are not happy with your department and have a good grade, you can change your department. For example, a student in civil engineering can transfer to our department or any other departments. This is not acceptable for us. The other thing is double major program. In METU all the departments have possibility to make double major program. We can only make minor program. I would let us make double major program or transfer to other departments.
For the last but not the least, if I had the chance, I would make our buildings more modern. I would rebuild them, I would plant a lot of trees and make everywhere green. Now, we just see yellowness around us.
I wish, I really had that chance to make them real. In that case, I could enjoy this university fully.
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I completely agree with you about the problems you mentioned above.Your essay is really well organized.You explained yourself clearly enough.The thesis statement is explicit and the intrıduction part includes all the topic sentences.The essay is perfect in terms of unity and coherence.The conclusion part is also good.Thank you:)
YanıtlaSilIf you hadn't started your essay with the statement "As most of my friends know, I don't like my department so much.", your introduction would have been much better. After reading this sentence, the reader most probably doesn't want to read the rest of it. You could have made it more interesting. Moreover, for the last body paragragh and the conlusion part, I can say that those paragraphs would have been a bit longer and detailed. In the conlusion, you could have summarized or paraphrased the essay. That would have been better.
YanıtlaSilhi sule..you back up your idea very strongly..so it's good.also I totally agree with you..what you said is right.and your paragraphs are related.it is very well.
YanıtlaSilHi Şule,
YanıtlaSilI have read your essay and agreed with you about the problems which we faced as being fle students. As for how you wrote your essay,
I want to say that introduction could be more general for not ony you but also all fle students. That would make it more readable. And then, when I see how you explained your thoughts, I wnat to say that they are really well calarified. But as for the last twoo paragraphs, they should have been a little bit longer than now. You should have developesd them a bit more. Thank you for being our spokeswoman.
YOURS SINCERELY
Hüseyin